Stockings - Sensible or Sensual?

What brand of stockings do you wear? That was a question that came out of the blue at a networking event I attended recently.

It got me thinking. Why wear stockings as a business and professional woman over 40 when the world is becoming more casual?

Here are my modern dressing tips for business women over 40 so that you can tap into the magic of stockings.

Only Women Look Great in Stockings

I see far too many business and professional women over 40 who always wear pants. Some business friends and associates I have never seen in a skirt with or without stockings. (I am writing here for the normal woman not someone who has a serious skin condition where you prefer to cover up rather than reveal your legs.)

Ok, the rest of us have legs that are not perfect! Whose are? You examine them critically and think they are too skinny, too fat, too freckly or too pale. You have some scars or splotches and blotches. So what! You are a woman not an insecure teenager. Only women look great in stockings. Men wear socks and socks are sensible not sensual. Yes, you are a serious, grown-up professional woman but who said you have to hide your legs in pants or long skirts all the time.

Celebrate being a woman at least on some of your days. Yes, even in winter.

Stockings Accentuate the Positive and Eliminate the Negative

Most women are too busy noticing and cataloguing their faults rather than noticing what is great about themselves. It is time to stop comparing ourselves unfavourably with other women.

The right stockings for you will show off your legs as a whole and minimise your perceived individual leg faults. Sheer stockings in a light tan colour or sheer black will emphasise your leg curves and make you feel good about yourself. A bit of shine or sheen will take the attention to your whole leg not the individual bits of it. These are very smart dressing skills to look strong and confident. Be womanly sensual.

Find the Best. Ignore the Rest

Age brings wisdom; so use it. Do not buy the cheap sensible stockings. Go for the better quality or the expensive brand stockings.

What brand stockings do I wear? I live in Australia and wear Wicked brand by KolotexTM. They are at the top end of the medium-price range. If you live elsewhere, look for a brand in a similar price range. Yes, I choose the Body Slimming or In Control options for a bit of tummy support. They are comfortable, have some shine to them and they minimise all my freckles, red marks etc. It is the shine that is the secret. Shine is sensual and deflects attention from everything else.

Experiment to find stockings that are the best quality, the best feel and the best look at the best price for you.

Sensible Stockings

Some business and professional women who stand on their feet all day long need to choose sensible leg relief stockings. This does not mean the thick stockings of old. Look around to combine leg relief with a touch of womanly glamour. Do it for your own morale so you feel like a smart, sassy woman.

Ignore the sensible Knee Highs. Even if you wear pants, knee highs make you feel old and staid. Choose Stay Ups instead. These go up your thighs, feel sensual and still leave your tummy in peace.

There are lovely stockings out there. Even under pants, a glimpse of good quality stockings is a great morale booster.

BONUS: Yes, you can go the fake tanned-leg look BUT stockings feel nicer. They do not stain your legs and clothes. They cover imperfections AND you can take them off when you get home.

Different Things To Do for Mother's Day

How to Give Yourself the Gift of Health on Mother's Day?

One mistake that Mothers make is to neglect their health because they spend so much time caring for their kids and other members of their family. It's a good idea to give yourself the gift of health on Mother's Day by acknowledging your needs as well. Set aside time every day for any exercise of your choice; you don't need more than 40 minutes for this. Remember to include fresh fruits and vegetables in your diet and supplement it with a well-chosen multivitamin. You'll also be a lot healthier (and fun to be around) if you sleep at least 8 hours every night. It's also a good idea to get an overall health check-up done, with specific focus on your heart, bones, cervix and breasts.

How to Write a Mother's Day Poem

A Mother's Day poem is a great gift and it is really not too difficult to work on. Start by collecting nuggets of information about your mother and your childhood so that you have something to work on. Once you go over these points you will be able to pick out the most important ones in order to string them together into a poem. Sincerity is more important than fine sounding words, but make sure that you check the meanings of the words used. It's not necessary to make the words rhyme, but you could work on rhyming words using trial and error once you have written the rough poem. Keep the poem to 10-15 lines. You could also copy a little known poem and change words to suit you.

How Do Women Deal Or Cope With Stress And What Can They Do About It?

Women tend to be better than men at dealing with stress because they tend to not bottle it up. What most women do when they are stressed is to seek emotional release from it by crying. Instead of being a sign of weakness, this is actually a great way to let off some steam, thereby ensuring that they do not suffer from problems of the cardio-vascular system. Another thing they do is eat large amounts of food in what is known as emotional eating. The best way to deal with stress is to pay attention to one's own needs, get 8 hours of sleep, reduce ones workload and tackle one job at a time and also to delegate responsibility. It also helps to practice relaxation techniques.

How to Express Love for Yourself and Your Body

You can learn to love your body and yourself by starting with the right expectations. If you expect perfection (which does not exist except in an artificial environment) you will be disappointed. Don't focus on the parts of the body you don't like and instead think of the different things your body can do. You should also change your role models from people who are physically beautiful to those who have actually done something for others. Remind yourself constantly that you are a unique person and that there are people who love you for who you are. Focus on staying healthy and fit instead of merely sexy and thin. Exercise and a good diet will ensure that you automatically look and feel radiant with health.

Women's Emotional Clothing-Clutter

Clothing-clutter is, as I see it, created by women's emotional attachment to clothing. I don't know any woman who doesn't have unused or never-used clothing in her closet.

Maybe I know the "wrong" women or maybe this is just because clothing is such an essential part of women's feeling of femininity.

If you are a "collector" of clothes that take up a large part of the room you need for other things, it will give you unnecessary trouble when cleaning, have guests for a snack or a dinner, have a boyfriend over or simply just want to enjoy where you live. It might even give you a tough time feeling great every day when you are at home.

Like so many others I still have clothing in my closet that I have not used for years and I have difficulties getting myself to give it away. I also can find a couple of things I bought and never used. Bought on sale and can't change it or simply never got around to take it back. If I don't give it away before adding new stuff I will definitely get a clothing-clutter issue.

The big problem is, when you have too much, it seems to keep piling up, creates ongoing clothing-clutter and spoils the feeling of that well-being it originally gave when first bought.

My suggestion forward is to explore the possibilities of solving this problem by looking at the reason it is there.

Why is it so hard to get rid of clothing you don't use?

Stuff and clothing you pile up are, no matter what, memories of an event or visions of an event you had when you bought it or got it.

They are memories of special times, special people, special deep feelings and you feel you cut off something of your yourself getting rid of them. 

like: "Who is going to use it, are they the "right" people I would like to see wear this, which kind of person is it that I allow to wear my treasures, my great memories if I give it away?"

Big Question: Is it now actually taking away value from you?

Money is an issue. 

You paid a lot of money for that stuff and you just hate to see it go to somebody "not worthy of YOUR special stuff" paid by you. You feel it is like giving away money you can't do without to somebody you don't know and who may not need it.

Big Question: Did you all in all get value for your money?

The work you have put into the Stuff! 

How many times have you washed and ironed it? paid cleaning, taken good care of it, dusted it and moved it around with you. It has become a part of your life and the time you spend every day -

Big Question: But is it giving back anything positive?

The time and effort you have put into the upkeep is heavy and it is devastating for you to think about giving up something you have taken care of for so long and spent so much time on.

Big Question: So, why are you still piling up fresh stuff? Does it really serve you?

Hopefully your answers to these questions have given you some ideas on how to solve this clothing-clutter problem and also inspiration to actually do something about it even if you sell it on a yard sale, to a store, give it to charity or open a clothing store.

If you are not renting or buying more square feet every month, to take care of all your additions to your closet space and other space, you have a big problem, that is if you don't do anything.

Last Big Question: Is it really worth the money it costs you to pile up more, let the enjoyment of what you already own get spoiled because of unnecessary additions to your clutter? 

I can't imagine you are ok with that.

So do something about it before the clutter also squeezes your possibilities for a great lifestyle and makes you totally forget how much fun life can be without clothing-clutter and what follows from it.

Throw away the weight of the clothing-clutter and start living in freedom.

A Few Options for Where to Sell Your Jewelry

More often than not, jewelry is usually expensive and precious and a thorough research on where to sell your jewelry is vital as you would not like to end up with a raw deal. There are many channels for selling jewelry. A few examples are given below:

Art Galleries: there are several galleries that are organized to show jewelry and other precious items to potential buyers. These present jewel sellers a perfect opportunity to exhibit their jewelry. There jewelry get high levels exposure and thus gives them a chance for exposure. Galleries often advertise extensively and attract all types of customers. They might even be in museums and such like places which are very beneficial to jewelry sellers.

Online dealers: another great way to sell your jewelry is through the internet. Some of you are skeptical about this but trust me it is a great channel. There are some jewelry buying companies that operate online and offer a great place where to sell your jewelry. There are those companies that offer competitive prices and professional services and the major advantage is that you get a chance to compare the pros and cons of each of them and make an informed decision. As a jewelry maker, you can also decide to start up your own jewelry buying and selling website. This will give you a good opportunity to meet your customers and interact with them well.

But extreme caution should be exercised when using the internet as there are dishonest jewelry buyers and sellers out to swindle you. Only deal with online buyers who you have done enough research and confirmed that they are genuine.

Jewelry shops: another place where you can sell jewelry is through jewelry shops. Sounds obvious? It's not as simple as it sounds. While there are very many shops that buy jewelry around, most of them intend to pay you way less than the real value of your jewelry which is really unfortunate. It is important to find out as much as possible about different jewelry shops and go for the one that you feel that it offers you real value. You also need to research on the prevailing market prices for jewelry similar to yours to give a clue on what to expect.

If you have the capital, man-power and skills to start your own, the better for you as it will save you the hustle and bustles of dealing with merchants who also intend to make a kill on your jewelry. You also get an opportunity to interact one-on-one with your customers. You get to know their tastes and preferences and you can modify you jewelry design accordingly. Your customers once satisfied offer an excellent network as they also tell their friends about your shop and it is a win-win situation at the end of the day.

Smart Women and The Art of Self-Promotion

One of the questions I'm frequently asked by women entrepreneurs is, "When I meet someone who is a potential referral source and/or ideal client, how do I mention my business without feeling pushy?" Great question! Being able to communicate your marketing message with confidence is key to attracting more clients, increasing your income and becoming known for your expertise.

The idea of "self-promotion" or "selling" leaves some women feeling like they are bragging, being pushy or not considerate of others. It can create anxiety and fear which in turn keeps you stuck and unable to reach your business goals. Women are nurturers by nature and the thought of putting their needs in front of someone else's may feel unnatural.

I understand the feeling (I've experienced it too), however if you are determined to achieve your business goals, it's essential you communicate your message about what you have to offer and how you help people. Do so often and to as many people as possible (otherwise, you will remain the best kept secret in town which in this case, won't serve you). People are super busy and can't read your mind so it's up to you to take on the responsibility of creating interest in how you support people with your product or service.

When I have an opportunity to share how I support women entrepreneurs, I use the R&R approach (Relationship + Results). It feels both authentic and comfortable for me and I think it will for you, too.

1. Cultivate a Relationship - Whether I meet someone at a networking event, through social media or through a mutual friend, my first desire is to build a relationship and discover how I can be of service. I'm truly interested in people and enjoy learning about others. My goal is to find a common ground with people and if I can offer some advice or perspective on their current situation, I'll share it with them right away. This is a good time to showcase your expertise and also show the other person you are genuinely listening to them.


2. Share Results - When it's your turn to share more about who you are and what you do (if you've truly shown an interest in the other person, this happens organically) share the results you've had with your clients through telling stories. Storytelling is engaging. People will lean in and listen intently to what you have to say. Rather than talking about the name of your company and the services you offer, concentrate on someone you've worked with that had award-winning results. Talk about where this person was when they first began to work with you and the benefits or transformation they received after working with you.

This approach takes away the "heavy" feeling of self-promotion that women sometimes experience. It has a feminine feel to it. Women create relationships better than anyone I know and sharing the results others have had when they work with you eliminates anxiety.

I invite you to get out of the office today and try the R&R approach. It's simple, easy and feels authentic to women entrepreneurs.

Plan B Dressing - The Quick Grab and Wear Plan

A networking associate posed a question to me last week. She said that when getting dressed, she often forgets what she has in her wardrobe that can be worn together. Although her clothes hang in colour groups, this system provides no reminder and she often defaults to her favourite combination. Did I have any ideas to help her?

I like to plan ahead what I am going to wear. Not everyone is like that and even this plan does not always work. Disaster can strike at any time - clothes get ruined, you missed that stain, something rips as you put it on or you get a last-minute invitation to go somewhere.

I gave her some suggestions and decided to share them with you. I call this the Quick Grab and Wear Dressing Plan for business women over 40.

Make It Easy to Find Clothes to Wear

If you have so many clothes hanging in your wardrobe or closet that they merge into one solid block, it is time to re-organise or discard. Has the season changed and you are still keeping on hand clothes that do not suit this time of the year? If so, move those clothes elsewhere. Space out the clothes that are left so you can see all of your clothes. Sort out the clothes on your shelves and in your drawers so that you do not have to rummage through twenty items to find the one you want. Hang jewellery in clear pocket hangers and put scarves on tie hangers to make it easy to choose the best accessory that suits your mood and personality.

Enough is Plenty

Apply the Buddhist principle of Enough. With your wardrobe that means that before you buy more clothes, look at the current clothes in your wardrobe differently. Change any out-dated ideas that only this can go with that. Be young again. Play Dress Ups. Try on everything with everything. Try wearing your camisoles and singlet tops as modern outer vests. Mix patterns and colours. You may be amazed at what works and how your dressing choices have suddenly expanded. Enough will be plenty.

Create a Looks Folder

Now it is time to remember your old and new combinations. For the writers, write down all your dressing and accessory combinations and good places to wear that combination eg This item goes with that item when I go to this event.

For those more visual, take pictures of yourself or your combinations against a plain neutral-coloured wall. Create an album of your looks on your mobile or iPhone. You can also cut and paste them into a Word document as small images. Then print the document in colour at any printing place for only a few dollars. Depending on who shares your computer or laptop, you can create a screensaver of your looks. This was suggested by the networker above as she started to see the possibilities. Lastly, get creative with your own ideas.

Stick your printed sheets on the wardrobe door or wall for easy reference. Remember to check your Looks Folder before you get dressed.

Bonus Tip

When you buy something new, wear it as soon as possible in at least two different ways to imprint it on your mind. Be like a little kid. They are so in love with their new clothes that they cannot wait to wear them again and again. That might happen to you, especially if someone you admire compliments you on your new clothes or accessory.

Stop complaining about your wardrobe! Use these modern dressing tips to get dressed simpler and faster.

Preventing Domestic Abuse - Important Information and Safety Tips

Domestic Abuse and Violence towards Woman & Children are at Unacceptable Levels. 

Here are some current statistics found on the internet -

1) One woman is assaulted every two minutes

2) 4 out of 10 assaults take place in the victims home

3) Nearly 2 in 3 female victims of violence are related to or knew their attacker.

4) Anywhere from 1-3 million women have been battered each year by their intimate partner.

5) According to the U.S. Surgeon General, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women in the United States.

6) It is estimates that more than a million women each year have been stalked by an intimate partner in the United States.

7) Each day 4 women die as a result of abuse.

8) Each day 3 children die as a result of abuse.

9) In 2005, teenage women (ages 12-19) experience 1.5 million violent crimes; this figure includes 75,354 sexual assault and rapes

Domestic violence occurs to all types of women regardless of income, age, race, education, or belief system. Domestic violence is a major contributing factor to other problems including child abuse, neglect, drug & alcohol abuse, emotional problems, job-loss, homelessness, and attempted suicide. Nearly one-third of American women report being physically or sexually abused by a husband or boyfriend at some point in their lives.

Family violence costs the nation $ 24 billion annually in medical expenses, police and court costs, shelters and foster care, sick leave, absenteeism, and non-productivity. Indirect cost raise this to $84 billion. These statistics are grim reminders that domestic abuse and violence towards women and children is a real and dangerous problem for millions. We need to make every effort we can towards stopping the increasing violence and reversing the statistics.

The good news is there are people and agencies in almost every community that are helping women. People are helping each other battle this problem, one step at a time. There are many important steps we can take to help. Let's list some of these:

1) If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic abuse, it's important to act immediately. Get away from the abuse as soon as possible. Report the Abuse to your local agency or a woman's support organization. Help is available.

2) Be aware of warning signs to prevent you or someone you know from becoming a victim. The seeds of violence are often planted long before physical abuse takes place. Remove yourself from a potential violent situation or seek help in doing so.

3) Learn Important Home & Personal Safety Tips to help keep you and your family safe.

4) Donate time, supplies, money and other resources to local organizations and shelters. They need your help.

5) Support Public Awareness and Education - Public awareness is essential in keeping these issues on national, state and local agendas. Violence prevention begins in our schools and our public agencies. Education is the key to opening the door to a healthy and productive dialogue about domestic violence.